I have not updated since Michael's death a little over a week ago, and what a week it's been. Some of you may be reading this due in part to CNN and MSNBC actually quoting some of the content of my last entry on-air ( which was very flattering, by the way! ), and if that is what lead you here- hello, and welcome.
The shock and disbelief has worn off and the harsh reality of what has happened has finally and fully hit me.
I am devastated by Michael Jackson's death.
I am absolutely heartbroken.
I have shed tears. Many of them. Too many to count, over the course of this past week. It may sound dramatic to some. Even silly or crazy to others, but to me- to someone who was consistently surrounded by Michael's musical presence as a child and while growing up. To someone who was truly inspired to become just as flawless a performer as him, and yes- who thought he was unbelievably cute ( childhood crushes are adorable )...
... and as someone who could only watch helplessly and do her best to defend a man against critics she met along the way as his life was turned upside down ( moreso than it already had been by his father as a child ) by lying, greedy individuals, and even moreso by the scathing, unmerciless, and often fabricated, sensationalized media throughout the years- it feels as though I have lost someone near and dear to me.
And I don't care who judges me for it. I won't apologize or lower my head in shame or embarassment for how I feel; for how my heart feels. He was someone of great importance to me and many others in my generation- and he's gone now. With his passing, a good portion of my childhood goes with him.
However, in this time of grief and reminiscing- it is truly awe-inspiring and touching to see so many people, most sharing similar, if not the exact same feelings as me, join together. Not just to mourn the death of someone gone too soon, but to celebrate a life. A life of a man who not only changed the face of music and pop-culture, but who made a difference with his selfless charity work and his tireless efforts to shine light on issues that were otherwise being overlooked.
Michael's endless love, compassion, and wonder for the human race as a whole, and his ability to forgive and forget- regardless of how he was treated throughout his life- shows his true character. He was simply too good for this world.
With memorials taking place all over, from Michael's childhood home in Gary, Indiana, to the Apollo Theatre, where the Jackson 5 first got their big break, all the way to Neverland Ranch and to Michael's star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame- fans from every corner of the Earth have gathered to pay tribute to a legend whose heart was just as incredible as his talent.
And with his music selling astronimically high numbers and yet again taking over the radio, and his music videos being played in heavy rotation on different networks throughout the world- Michael Jackson has officially reclaimed his rightful place as the undisputed King Of Pop. It is bittersweet, and yet heartwrenching- that it took his death to finally get him there.
Even the internet, where shock value runs rampant and anonymity brings out the worst in, well, everyone- has been abuzz with Michael appreciation. Sites like YouTube and MySpace are FILLED with clips from all over the globe showing fans paying their respects to the King Of Pop with impromptu sing-alongs to his music and dances to his videos. Filmed from bedrooms and living rooms, all the way to the NYC and London subway systems and Philippine prisons.
Even celebrity-centered sites like Oh No They Didn't! have found ways to celebrate Michael's life and accomplishments- turning every post related to him into a "party post" where members' favourite pictures, .gifs, videos. and memories are posted and shared.
Speaking of ONTD- Shamone, you guys! SHAMONE! ♥ ♥ ♥
Men and women. Young and old. Black and white. And everything in between- all coming together to celebrate their shared love for one individual who affected their lives in different, but always important ways.
It's with that unity, that the void left by Michael's absence can be filled by something he would have wanted everyone to experience- pure love and joy.
Will there be haters and doubters during the grieving? Absolutely. There always will be. Some people simply aren't strong enough to look past an image or to stop digesting everything they're being fed by gossip and the media. Some people are stubborn and easily overwhelmed when faced with considering both sides of a story, and some people are just ignorant and afraid to open their hearts and minds. It's sad, and it can be frustrating, even maddening- but it's not their fault, really.
All we can do is forgive them, keep our hearts open to them, and move on....
... Or point them in the direction of hip-hop artist Phonti's BRILLIANTLY written blog about Michael, "My Hero Ain't Molest Them Bitch Ass Kids". ( I swear to God, it's worth the read. It's so good. )
I wish I could close this entry with something truly epic and world-changing, but there are not enough words to do Michael Jackson justice. Especially not after everything he has done for us throughout his life.
All I can say is I am happy to have admired, respected, and loved this man as much as I did and still do. I am proud to be able to say I have always believed in him, even when others turned their backs on him. I am honored to say that his kindness, gentleness, his spirit and good intentions have, and will continue to inspire me to be the best person I can be and to do as much good as I can in the world. To not take anything for granted. To appreciate and live every day to it's fullest- and to moonwalk whenever I get the chance to carry on his legacy. Naturally.
I will leave you with a quote from Michael himself, also taken from his speech at Oxford University. I think it can and should be applied to our lives everyday. It's wonderful:
"In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe."
God bless you, Michael- wherever you are. I hope you're happy, at peace, and seeing just how much the world loved, and will continue to love you. You'll be missed, but never forgotten.
♥ ♥ ♥
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